How to deal with Anger?
From frustration to anger to identifying what’s going on inside us, a whole new education!
Understand our child’s anger
Since anger is most often an expression of frustration, teaching a child how to express the emotion that overwhelms him in another way becomes a priority. How can I do this? By trying to divert his attention through humour, a toy, a comforter, or a promise that we will keep.
As parents or educators, we are role models, consciously or not, for our children. For most of us, expressing our needs and emotions is a challenge, because we have not learned to identify them, nor to express them… By realizing the importance of this educational deficiency, it becomes easier and more urgent to set an example and to teach our children to express themselves without resorting to verbal or physical violence. On the other hand, in our opinion, being coherent, and even congruent with our children is very important.
Furthermore, being aware of what is going on, taking a step back from the situation, and above all, placing oneself in one’s heart, most often allows us to calm the game and let the storm pass, then take the time to let the clouds dissipate!
How do I manage my child’s tantrums?
Let's change our beliefs about anger
Anger is the beast of all emotions, but it can also be a trigger, followed by an opportunity to learn, to express oneself in a constructive way, by becoming aware of one’s limits and by respecting one’s needs.
Let's welcome our child's emotions
Most children express unconsciously a frustration or an unfulfilled need. It is therefore important not to receive this anger as an aggression by reacting in the same way. Rather, it is important to listen and then to understand him.
Let's calm him down with reassurance
When children are comforted, they feel more understood. Offering a hug and diverting the child’s attention by reading a story or doing an activity he enjoys will lead to a mutually beneficial return to calm.
Discover virtues in opposition to anger
Benefits of being patient
Who hasn't had to forgive at some point, if only to himself?
Use our games to help children understand anger
A great gift for our children would be if, from an early age, they were able to develop a vocabulary related to Forgiveness and its counterpart, Anger. The Forgiveness card text is a good guide for thinking about this topic and incorporating it through play.
For example, you can separate the passion cards from the other cards in the VirtHU, Karma Buster or Kahuna games and set them aside. At the beginning of the week, you draw a “passion” card that you place on the fridge and, throughout the week, the family members pay particular attention to how they live this passion on a daily basis. Then you plan a nice family sharing followed by a wonderful card game. A good habit to consider for the improvement of family relationships. Hence our slogan “Enhancing life, one game at a time!”
Playing HulaHU card games is all about understanding the sources of our sensitivities, getting to know ourselves better and developing our faith in life. And so much more, all one game at a time.
Testimony about anger
Q : Gaston, have you ever experienced anger?
A : Anger is a force that can be destructive, at least that’s what I’ve experienced. For me, anger is a passion that allows us to recognize the signals that indicate that we are not listened to at all, and therefore not respected.
At the age of 10, I was living in a foster home. One day, when I came home from school, there were cardboard boxes all along the hallway and a stranger was sitting at the dinner table. The adults asked me to sit down and said that I would be leaving that home within minutes. I became very angry and yelled “this is not fair” and “I have done nothing to deserve this”. During the drive I cried and screamed. I was very angry. While expressing that it was unfair, a great deal of discomfort settled inside of me. This great lack of not being listened to or respected was growing inside me.
During the trip, the man did everything to comfort me and show me his love and support. In fact, he stopped at a Dairy Queen to buy me an ice cream to take my mind off of things. Sitting in the front seat of the car, I watched as the kids and all their families headed for their treats. Tears rolled down my cheeks like rain on the windows. Suddenly, my inner voice told me that these children could become new brothers and sisters. My attention was redirected to something else. All parents who skillfully seek to reduce their children’s anger may do so.
